I Take Orders from No-One!
by Moon Fever
Summary: Oh dear god, Vegeta is dragged along to another stupid family day thing with the Son's. How is he going to survive with frying pans and a agitated Bulma?


Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from DBZ, although I wished I did...hehehe

Authors notes: Yes this is one of my abandoned stories I found floating around my computer so I thought I'll post it. There's no guarantee they'll be another chapter but I'll try!

Vegeta grunted, wearing a blue checked shirt and black pants. He was noticeably uncomfortable as he struggled to sit still on the park bench still as he watched Bulma trying to set up the Barbeque on a flat piece of land. The suburban park was illuminated with the bright luminescent sunlight which filtered through the leafy shade to where Vegeta was sitting, his face contorted into a deadly expression that would send children running at the sight of it. It was that time of month again (In a manner of speaking). Vegeta thought as he peered through his narrowed eyes at Bulma who was attempting to start up the barbeque.

"Woman, what is the blasted point to this day?" he snarled, obviously in a touchy mood. Bulma glared back at him as she paused from meddling with the barbeque.

"If you really want to know, Vegeta. It's a day where all of us can bond and catch up with each other" Bulma said impatiently with a icy tone of voice.

Vegeta stared at Bulma resentfully, who had turned back to the barbeque, her red dress was getting smeared with grease as she rifled through the insides of the oven trying to get it to work. Vegeta peeled his eyes away from Bulma and onto Mirai and Chibi Trunks. They were both on a see-saw, Chibi Trunks sat on the lifted end of the see-saw looking bored while Mirai Trunks looked confused on the opposite end, feet firmly on the ground. 

Chibi Trunks stared down at Mirai annoyed, his arms crossed over his purple tracksuit top.

"Well?" he directed to Mirai Trunks who looked at his watch, expecting something to happen. Mirai trunks brushed some strands of hair out of his face and looked up at Chibi Trunks with a dubious look on his face.

"Is this it?" Mirai Trunks looked back up at Chibi Trunks, "So...all you do is hang in the air, and I sit here? What kind of entertainment is that?" Chibi Trunks hit his forehead with his hand at how naive Mirai trunks was with playground equipment. Vegeta sneered at them and decided to have a bit of fun. He walked slowly up to Chibi and Mirai Trunks, and looked down at Mirai Trunks crouching over the plank. Mirai Trunks looked up at Vegeta suspiciously, who sniffed with an air of importance.

"You" Vegeta said sharply "Stand up"

Mirai Trunks lifted an eyebrow, but was willing to co-operate in fear of angering his short tempered father. He glanced up to see Chibi Trunks rolling his eyes down at Vegeta and Mirai Trunks.

"Stand up NOW" Vegeta gave a small smirk as Mirai shifted uncomfortably underneath his gaze. Mirai Trunks obeyed, his lavender hair shifted with the wind. In a split second, the plank was released from Trunks' weight and it sprung up, hitting Mirai Trunks in the crotch with a painful crunch while Chibi Trunks plummeted to the ground on the see-saw, the sheer impact of the plank also hit Chibi Trunks in the crotch.

Mirai trunks, was down. Chibi Trunks was down. Vegeta was cackling looking amused while Bulma ran over to Mirai and Chibi Trunks.

"Boys! are you ok?" Bulma said tenderly giving Vegeta her own death glare. Vegeta stopped laughing and resumed to smirking, snorting every once in a while. "Where does it hurt Trunks'?" she asked to both of them as they lay on the ground winching.

"Mommy...my pee-pee hhuuurrrtts" whined Chibi trunks, tears forming at his eyes. Mirai nodded, never had he experienced such excruciating pain from a child's play equipment. 

"Oh Trunks...mommy will make it all better" Bulma cooed as she waved air onto Chibi Trunks' blue jeans. "What about you Mirai? Do you want me to make it better?" Trunks shook his head furiously, declining her offer. To him it seemed odd that someone his age would want to have their mother fussing over their private areas it was even odder to see himself as an 8 year old asking for such contact. It made Mirai Trunks shiver just thinking about it. *No-one, not even my mother is going anywhere near my privates, thank you very much* he thought, sitting up staring at Bulma waving air frantically to the whimpering Chibi Trunks.

Vegeta looked on at the scene smiling deviously. *Ahh...it seems my knowledge physics has once again avenged my sons* he thought.

"VEGETA!" Vegeta cringed, as Bulma shrieked his name "Your own offspring and there you are making sure they never escape you wrath. Clever, Vegeta very clever" Bulma shot him a look that could repel even Goku while she said this in a sarcastic tone. Bulma glared at Vegeta, who looked back with a 'I wouldn't harm a fly, how dare you accuse lil innocent me' expression. 

"I ought to get that frying pan off Chi-chi to use on you" 

Vegeta flinched. That dreaded frying pan...that woman ought to be feared with contempt. Blasted frying pan...

"So I see, you fear the frying pan" Bulma suddenly smiled, finding a weak spot in Vegeta was rare, yet very rewarding.

Mirai Trunks sat up sweating from the pain exerting from his groin. Chibi Trunks now started waving air to his groin by himself, looking very concerned. He reached over to Mirai Trunks who was glaring at Vegeta before patting Mirai Trunks' crotch.

"What the hell? get away!" Mirai trunks quickly crawled away from Chibi Trunks' pat.

Chibi Trunks looked hurt, he cast his sapphire eyes downwards and looked sad.

"I was only trying to help..."

"Oh sure! I don't need anyone touching me thanks very much" Mirai trunks folded his arms together and sniffed downwardly to Chibi trunks whose eyes became blurry with tears. Vegeta burst out laughing. Bulma felt ready to throw the Barbeque onto Vegeta. Mirai Trunks thought about how weak Chibi Trunks was. 

The birds chirped in the trees oblivious to the chaos that was ready to dispersed around the world. Goku, Gohan, Goten and Chi-Chi walked together in a group to the meeting point. Goku wore a un-usually cheery expression on his face, disturbing the thoughts of Gohan who wished Chi-Chi wasn't rubbing his cheek with her fingers moistened by her saliva.

"Ouch, mom! That hurt" Gohan whined trying to push his mother's hand away from his face.

Chi-Chi stood back and looked offended. "Well I'm sorry you'll have to be dirty all your life THEN!" she spat before walking behind Goten huffing.

Goku looked over his broad shoulders and smiled at Chi-Chi, still grinning happily. Chi-Chi glared back, gritting her teeth. They walked onwards until they saw Vegeta slouching underneath the shade of the tree. Chibi Trunks was murmuring what was suspiciously like a curse while Mirai Trunks was reading Harry Potter, marvelling at how a girl called Hermione didn't need a big ass time machine to travel back into time. Bulma was now smiling delightedly to herself as the smell of burning sausages wafted through the air. 

"Hello Vegeta" Goku said, waving and approaching Vegeta.

"Go away" Vegeta growled.

"Why?"

"Because I'm in a bad mood and I'll poke you in the eye"

Goku laughed good naturedly, believing that Vegeta was joking. He patted Vegeta on the back for his - er - efforts in humor. In a split second, Vegeta had bought out his finger and thrust it deeply into Goku's eye while Gohan and Goten watched with apprehension. Goku winched in pain. It seems as if he'd need a new lens. Oh dear. As Vegeta smiled smugly at Goku who was clutching his eye a wave of panic washed through him. Chi Chi was here....and sure enough...

****

*GOOONNNNG...* 

Vegeta had forgotten about the frying pan...


End file.
